Functional Microwave Cover
A functional microwave cover. It covers food in the microwave.
$FMC
Functionality
- Has edges
- Exists in 3 dimensions
- Made of plastic (probably)
- Does not require WiFi
- Zero monthly subscription
- No software updates
- Cannot be hacked
- Works during power outages (if microwave also works during power outages)
- Dishwasher safe (we think)
- BPA status: unknown but hopeful
- Fully functional at room temperature
- Does not contain cryptocurrency
| Category | Spec | Value |
|---|---|---|
| Physical | Material | Plastic (BPA-free claims unverified) |
| Physical | Dimensions | Approximately round |
| Performance | Splatter Prevention | Up to 99%* |
| Compatibility | Microwave Types | All standard microwave ovens |
| Sustainability | Biodegradability | Technically yes (in 10,000 years) |
| Financial | ROI | Incalculable |
*Specifications subject to the laws of physics. Results may vary based on user's definition of "functional."
The Coin
Token Info
Supply:1,000,000,000 $FMC
Chain:Solana
FAQ
Is this a scam?+
We appreciate your inquiry regarding the legitimacy of our operations. $FMC represents a paradigm shift in microwave safety solutions. Our team of engineers has invested countless hours in R&D to bring you this revolutionary product. Rest assured, our commitment to transparency is unwavering, and our dedication to delivering value to our stakeholders remains our top priority.
What does it do?+
It covers microwaves.
When should I use it?+
Our proprietary usage algorithm suggests deployment during all microwave heating operations. However, we've also documented successful use cases during non-heating periods, suggesting that $FMC's value proposition extends beyond traditional microwave cover parameters. For optimal results, consult our 47-page best practices guide (available upon request).
What is the ROI?+
Return on Investment metrics for $FMC are calculated using our advanced financial modeling system, which factors in splatter prevention efficiency, emotional satisfaction, and the intrinsic value of owning a functional object. Early adopters report ROI figures ranging from 'immeasurable' to 'priceless.' Individual results may vary based on your personal relationship with microwave-related anxiety.
Is there a warranty?+
All $FMC units are backed by our Comprehensive Maybe-Warranty™, which covers defects in materials and workmanship for a period we're still determining. Claims are processed on a case-by-case basis following a thorough review by our Warranty Assessment Committee (currently in formation). Please retain all original packaging and documentation for your records.
Pursuant to Section 4.2(b) of the Digital Asset Disclaimer Framework, emotional reactions to $FMC-related content remain the sole responsibility of the end user. All claims are subject to verification by independent parties we have yet to identify.